If you search “At home Valentine’s Day ideas” online, you get a lot of… outlandish hits. Some lists boast an eye-watering number of “tips” – we saw one with 51 ideas – ranging from the cutesy (“at-home scavenger hunts”) and impractical (“camp in your backyard”) to the downright bizarre (“take a personality test together”).
At the risk of sounding presumptuous, we aren’t sure how many real-life couples are sleeping outside in the middle of winter, or huddling up with a Myers Briggs test this February 14th for a romantic date. Instead, we understand Valentine’s Day as an opportunity for stripped-back intimacy – a time to get comfortable, set the ambience, enjoy some of life’s finer things, and spend quality time together.
As industry-leading real estate agents, we’ve helped put countless Toronto couples in their dream homes. And we hear something similar from all of them: “We can’t wait to start our lives here.” It’s in that spirit of homeyness and togetherness that we’ve devised an at-home Valentine’s Day Guide for couples.
You won’t find anything overly high-concept here – just straightforward tips for creating intimate moments at home this V-Day.
Declutter for Hearts Aflutter
Unfortunately, the first step in fostering an intimate environment at home is a decidedly unromantic one. Cleaning and decluttering might not seem like a typical Valentine’s Day preparation but consider the alternative. How many rom-coms, romance columns, or even those aforementioned listicles do you see that portray a messy, unkempt home? Not a one.
And that’s because mess comes with baggage. It snaps us back to a reality replete with responsibilities, chores, bills and other humdrum concerns that take us away from intimacy. What you want instead is a clean slate, figuratively and literally. We follow this principle when staging your kitchen, living rooms and other common areas for a home sale. And it’s a principle that makes sense on Valentine’s, too.
We aren’t saying you need to clean as a couple (that might be a tad too unromantic). However, if you’re the one spearheading the Valentine’s Day celebration at home, begin your journey by tidying and cleaning. It shows your partner you care, and it sets the stage for an evening focused squarely on the two of you.
Set the Scene with Dim Lights, Close Seats and Calm Vibes
Not to get too neuroscientific or psychological, but there’s a good reason why we connect candle lights, proximity and tranquillity with romance. These ambient, environmental factors put our minds at ease. They allow us to relax, kick the cortisol aside and let that feel-good serotonin take its place. And in these states of ease and unhurriedness, we open up to one another. We have fun with one another.
Applying those scientific principles to your home is, thankfully, not rocket science. You’ve already done the hard work of decluttering and cleaning. Now, create an easy-going ambience with soft candle lights, close seating, enjoyable music (whatever that means to you) and a slow pace. Read more about designing for the comfort of your own home on our blog.
Food and Drink: Your Personal Definition of Decadence
Valentine’s Day has always had a decadent streak. From boxes of chocolate to buttery French fare, the stereotypical symbols of the holiday point toward luxuriousness and worry-free pleasures.
However, every couple is different. For some, decadence really is the five-course French menu with a dark chocolate ganache cake to cap it off. To others, decadence is a complete omakase sushi experience with clean flavours and minimalist presentation. And still others view decadence as pushing the boundaries only slightly, allowing themselves a slice of excess rather than the whole pie.
You know yourselves best. Striving for your personal definition of decadence – rather than conventional clichés – will help you both relax, enjoy yourselves, and personalize the experience. Whether it’s slow-braised osso bucco, pasta in a lobster cream sauce, or a vibrant Levantine salad spiked with honey and pistachios – make what feels right. For more advice on how to craft a worry-free home cooked meal, read our blog post by cookbook authors Bonnie Stern and Anna Rupert.
Talk, Talk, Talk
If there’s one thing psychologists agree is the key to intimacy, it’s communication. There can be no intimacy without it, most experts maintain. Communication is the oil that greases the wheel of romance, helping to fortify trust, mutual empathy and attraction.
Yet, if you’re like many of us, life gets in the way. We’re constantly being tugged in various directions by our work lives, family obligations, home chores, commutes, social events, the news, etc. It can be challenging to carve out time for a dedicated, open and engaging talk with your partner.
That’s what makes Valentine’s Day so special…you set all of that other stuff aside. Work emails go on snooze, the kids head to the grandparents, the chores can wait, and the phones go away. What’s left is two people, talking and talking. Don’t skip this step of Valentine’s Day. It’s a biggie!
Charting a Path for the Year Ahead Together
During those unhurried talks on Valentine’s Day, consider looking forward to the future. Planning the future can be a profoundly intimate experience, as it allows two people to create a shared vision for their lives.
And if the talk naturally leads to finding your perfect home together, give our expert realtors a ring (on the 15th, of course!) At Harvey Kalles Real Estate, we’re “dream architects,” fully committed to taking your starry-eyed conversations about the future and turning them into a reality. We can pinpoint the finest neighbourhoods in the GTA for you, search for deals, and ensure that your offer has a fighting chance of winning that dream home.
This Valentine’s Day, skip the long lines at restaurants, and skate right past those articles telling you that you need to plan some elaborate game to make things romantic. All you need is a dream home, two people, and some intimacy-friendly planning. Happy Valentine’s Day to those who celebrate!
